There hasn't been much activity on this thread, but I'll give you some info.
My girlfriend got into paintball with me then followed me into airsoft as well. In her experiance, the closest thing to fit her well is:
http://airsoftdepot.ca/catalog/produ...oducts_id=1685
in XS.
As for black BDUs...well she's kinda shit out of luck. Everything comes in a unisex cut and sizing, which is way off when it come sto woman. Best thing she can get is a pair of scrubs by Mobb. Sounds wierd I know, but my gf has a set of black scrub pants. Some kind of cargo ones with zippers and stuff, it can actually pass as bdus believe it or not.
Anyways hope that helps.